We spoke with a former escort recently about her time in the business. Her answers might surprise some of you. She articulated that, in her experience, it is more about communication and the mind, then it is about the body and great sex.
“Some people assume that we are having non-stop great sex every night with a client. That is not always the case. Some of the best times I have had with a client is when he and I are sitting around talking about life. You might be surprised at how many extremely intelligent high profile clients I have dealt with. Sex is also part of the package(no pun intended) but it is not the be-all and end-all of the situation.”
We asked her to elaborate on some of the specifics of her experiences below with three examples.
1)Clear and Concise
Escorting can become very emotional. It does take its toll after a while. That is why I implore clients to be as honest as they can be. Honesty includes more than just when you want me to show up and what you want me to do. Almost anyone can do some of the more basic sexual services we offer. Once again, it is not about that. There have been times we get left hanging because the client says he will be there and then does not show.
Clients can be left hanging when their needs are not met. It is a responsibility that rests on both people. Clients have to tell us what they want. It is our job to come through.
What happens if there is something you do not want to do?
That is a question we get asked a lot. Once again, it comes down to communication, We have to be honest with every client about what we will and will not do. It is about boundaries. Both parties have to establish boundaries right away. Tell the client if there is something you feel uncomfortable with, sexual or otherwise. They have the choice to find someone else who can fulfill the wishes if you cannot. You have the right to turn a client down, just as they have the right to turn you down.
2) You have to want to be there. Clients can tell when you are not into what is happening, especially sexually. That is why you need to keep the lines of communication open. You need to tell them they have crossed a line if you feel they have.
In other words, you cannot just “go through the motions.” Clients want to see how wild you can get, depending on what sexual activity you are performing.
“Some men like a lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets.”
That does not apply to every client, but some can get very dirty and kinky. That is why you need clear boundaries on what you will and will not do for them.
3) Communicate does not include unloading your emotional troubles on their doorstep. The client wants you to be professional. The client wants you to take care of their needs. They have a different type of “unloading” in mind(once again, no pun intended.)
I always suggest using a scented lotion. Come dressed to the “nines.” High-end does not translate to trashy slut. Clients who want that can go beg on the streets of Hollywood Boulevard(Case in point: Pretty Woman).
Hint: Dress well, but not too good. The goal is not to be thought of like a hooker. You could get thrown in jail for that.
Your hygiene needs to be impeccable too. The client will say something if he feels you are not looking well. Once again, communication.